Nucking Futs
by Miss.Ed
Summary: Edge's thoughts start to fight each other. He fights his opponents every week, fights his thoughts every second, now he's fighting his feelings for someone. This has got to stop, it's driving him NUCKING FUTS.
1. Default Chapter

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Nucking Futs

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Disclaimer: WWE is own and founded by the McMahon's, they own it, and I own the new character/s. JerichoSteph pairing dedicated to lucyzigg.

Summary: Edge's thoughts start to dispute each other. He fights his opponents every week, fights his thoughts every second, now he's fighting his feelings for someone. This has got to stop, it's driving him NUCKING FUTS.

Pairing: EdgeOC and JerichoSteph as the main pairings. More focused on EdgeOC.

Note: I have added a few of my own twists to some tapings and shows and maybe even pay-per views. Just reminding you so you won't track me down and ambush me for not putting on the right details for an episode. And that I "don't deserve to be a WWE fan". This is a fan fiction. Clue: Emphasizing the word FICTION. If I write down an event or a situation and you see this (?) after that statement, it means I am not sure about that statement whether I placed the right information or not. Reviews have been created so that you guys can comment on my story. So tell me about it if I really did make a mistake. It would mean a lot. If the information is right, then just put a smiley face in your review or something. I am here for the learning experience. Conscience says "YA RIGHT". Better safe than sorry. ï 


	2. Clueless

Special Thanks: To those who reviewed. Remember, I WON'T stop until I get like 200 reviews. That's my goal. To "sage", I'll give you a clue, but I doubt that this'll help that much. The one sending him letters is obviously a girl and she's someone to be introduced later on. You're all welcome to guess. Edge will be having some major admirers in the story later on. That's actually all I can say for now. Or else the story goes "Bye, Bye, Bye". I'd also like to thank "Legend Thriller" for giving me a great review along with "sage360". I also laughed remembering that episode in SNL. (Buck Futter) LOL. And thanks for the comment on the detailing and how you like it. It really means a lot. Thanks. So...I'll just be like a TOM and CRUISE. TTFN.

Chapter two: Clueless

Adam didn't think he got enough sleep that night. He felt dizzy and there was some kind of weight on the bed, when he opened his eyes, he saw around three to five maids all kneeling on his bed with a pen and paper in each one's self-manicured hands. They were all smiling, each one looked like they came from a different country. One looked Spanish, the other looked Indian, the other, I think, was French but he didn't quite get the last two.

Adam sat up on the bed being supported by his elbows as he noticed the maids giggle madly. He looked down to see, he wasn't wearing a shirt, but only his sweatpants. He didn't feel as if he was in the mood right now, but he had to entertain their questions, or whatever it was they wanted. The last thing he wanted now was bunch of angry foreign maids plotting their revenge and becoming deadly assassins and kidnapping him and soon enough, kill him.

"May I help you?" He said somewhat sleepily as the Indian looking maid fainted off the bed. "Vee, verr just vandering iv yoh vud lyk too giv us a vew autogravs." Said the French maid as the Spanish one tried to keep herself composed. "Sure, why not?" He said as he took their pens and signed them all, hoping as hell that they would leave already. And so they all stood up, struggling to get the Indian maid up. The French maid walked much slower than the other maids so she could leave the room last. As they all got out the door of Adam's bedroom, the French maid peeped inside and told Adam, "Oh yeh, yoh also hav a hot bod." She said smiling as Adam gave her a somewhat plastic smile and waved at her. As she waved back, she left the room and he heard the door shut.

He ran his hands through his hair and fell back into the cold bed. He let his feet fall out of the bed first, bad idea, he forgot he was on the side of the bed, so his whole body came crashing into the rug as his feet now contained all his dead weight. Now he was on the floor grunting at the back pain. He really didn't need any of this. A perfect day would not even make any difference at the moment. He really needed a break.

He stood up slowly and hesitantly and walked a bit lazily to the bathroom, shut the door and took a shower. He came out with only a towel, and got dressed. He looked around his room one last time and exited his room, locking his door. He walked towards the elevator where there was a young girl in a pink tank and black jazz pants with a pink and black jacket tied around her waist and black glasses on her head like a headband. She looked over at Adam who looked at her and they both smiled politely at each other.

As soon as the elevator opened, Adam let her in first and then followed in. While in the elevator, they really didn't make much eye contact since they really didn't know each other. Then the elevator stopped. "Well, this is my stop." She said as she broke the silence. The elevator opened and she just smiled back at him. He returned the smile and went back to being alone in the elevator.

He did some thinking, he found her rather attractive, although, with the way she looked, he thought that she already had a boyfriend. Anyway, putting that aside, he got to his floor and walked down the hallways and then stopped at room 2211 and knocked on the door. "Coming!" was what he heard from the room. "Hey man." He said as he pulled Adam into a manly hug. "Hey. So, where's Amy?" He asked the VERSION 1-NA. "Well, see, we didn't expect any visitors at the moment---" Matt said as Adam interrupted "No. No, it's okay. I'll wait." Adam said putting his hands in his pockets. "Well, then, that's great. Hey, why don't you come in first she'll be getting ready." Matt said letting Adam in. "Hey Amy." Adam said seeing a redhead sitting on the couch with the phone in her ear. Still on the wireless, she walked over and hugged Adam, somehow, mouthing the words 'Hang on'. Then she got back to talking to the person on the other receiver. As she continued talking on the phone, Adam took a seat on the bench in the balcony.

Matt soon came out seeing Adam looking a bit stressed. "Man, you alright, you seem a bit, out of the ordinary Adam I see every week." Matt said taking a seat beside him. "Nah. Just really stressed." He responded to the dark haired wrestler. "You may be going through some tough times with a close friend, but I'm going through a tough time with my girlfriend." Matt said leaning back onto the chair as he fumed up inside recalling the big red monster. "I know, but your relationship problem is getting the girl of your dreams, as mine just slipped away. Just because I couldn't spend enough time with Brian. Now, she called a divorce..." Adam said trailing off at the memory of the day she called a divorce. And all those days where he couldn't talk to her and the day they had that signing with the lawyer for a legal divorce which had a contract that he is not to make any contact with her nor Brian whatsoever. Of all the moments in his life where he wanted to redo things and start over, this was the one he wanted most. A rewind was what he wanted, not a playback to remembering the moment.

As a silence started between the two, Amy had just come out holding her cell phone. "Hey Adam. Ready?" Amy said seeing the tall blonde Canadian stand up and nodded. "Don't wanna come?" Adam asked the Version One-Na, sitting on the bench. "Nope. I'll just chill today." Matt said placing his feet on the spot on the bench where Adam just got up from. "Suite's you." Adam said leaving the balcony with Amy.

As they both got out the door, Amy started a conversation as they both walked towards the elevator. "So, what's your problem?" Amy asked pressing the down button on the elevator. "What makes you think I have a problem? Can't a friend just ask another friend out to lunch and a little shopping spree?" Adam asked acting as if he was trying to get that halo on his head to shine. "Adam, I've known you for a long, long time, and I know you well enough to know that you usually ask me out to lunch when you need to talk about something." Amy said getting in the elevator as Adam followed her. "Although, you never mentioned a shopping spree before, so I guess, this has to be a big problem." Amy said pressing the number of their floor on the wall of the elevator. "What makes you think that?" Adam asked hoping as hell that his wings also came out together with his golden halo and a cloud beneath his feet.

"Adam...what's wrong?" Amy asked looking him in the eye. "Alright, well thing is---" Adam, said as Amy interrupted him. "Divorce?" Amy said looking at the opening elevator door as she walked out. "How did you know?" Adam asked afraid someone in the business must've found out and told everyone and soon enough, everyone would've known his present weakness. "I hate to ease drop..." she trailed off noticing that Adam wasn't listening to her. "Adam?" She asked the now dumbstruck blonde Canadian. "Oh. Yeah. Sorry." He said as he snapped back into reality.

"Adam, I think we should talk about this at lunch." Amy said walking out the lobby door and into the entrance as she told the valet Adam's plate number as the valet pulled out a walkie talkie telling the other valet to pick up the designated car. 3 minutes later, the car came rolling by as Amy gave them a tip.

Amy got in the passengers seat as Adam took the drivers seat. "So, just talk. I'll just be a mirror." Amy said indicating that Adam spill out how the divorce started in the first place. "Well, you know that I got in a divorce. I---I just don't know why it's so painful. I mean its like having Evolution beat on me along with the other superstars. No. Actually I'd rather have that than going home to an empty hotel room where I am the only living being inside it. I'd rather be beaten up senselessly than not have a family to go home to." He said with his eyes on the road as he stopped for a pedestrian to cross.

"Adam, you aren't the only one suffering." Amy responded forgetting the mirror comment she made. "Funny, I've heard that from your boyfriend a while ago." Adam said as he drove on. "Which one?" Amy said looking at Adam seriously as they both suddenly broke out into laughter after around 5 seconds of analyzing what Amy said. Really, Adam didn't have emotional problems only. After that fall yesterday from being eliminated by Jericho, he got a mental problem that came with a brain that registered in like 5 seconds when others register at just 3.30 as the most. Which was funny, considering after the fall, his brain went down from 150 rams to 32 rams.

Adam drove around the corner of one block and then drove over to a restaurant and then gave his keys to the valet. He and Amy took their seat and their orders. While waiting, they talked about whatever was going on with their lives and started laughing at the menu. For some reason, they found an apple shake called "Adam's Apple", so Adam ordered it.

After a while, Adam, called for an early check and then left a tip on the table, he and Amy, then left for the mall.

At the mall, Amy went frantic at several shops. After an hour, Amy was already at their twenty-third shop. Adam was now carrying twelve shoes bags, sixteen shopping bags and a bunch of visors and caps all stacked up on his head. "Eh-mee?" Adam tried said thru all the things in front of his face. "Eh-mee?" he mumbled out since he couldn't be heard clearly because of the bandana that was right there in his mouth. "EH-MEE!" He shouted. "Oh. Yeah?" Amy finally responded. "En ee oh om ow?" Adam asked still being all mumbly (If there's such a word). "Excuse me? I'm sorry, Adam I can't hear you." Amy said as she took the bandana off his mouth. "Thank you!" He said as the bandana was removed from his mouth. "I was saying could we go home now?" Adam finally said. "Oh. Okay. Sure. No problem." Amy said rapping things up.

As they both got to the hotel. They were both exhausted. They both got to Amy's apartment. As Amy opened the door, she saw blood on the floor. "Shit," was her only comment. Something happened while they were not there. Amy ran around the room, and so did Adam, looking frantically for Matt. He was there, but his head was bleeding. No knife, no sledgehammer, no weapons. He must've been beaten up bad. And Amy knew who did it. Kane. Didn't she make a deal with him not to hurt Matt anymore? Well, I guess, Kane "forgot".

Adam then ran to the phone and called the paramedics. They came after around ten minutes since the nearest hospital was 6-8 blocks away. So as soon as Amy ran down together with the paramedics, with Adam at her side, Adam helped Amy up to the ambulance. The doors on the van shut and left Adam standing there watching the van fade into the distance.

Looking into the distance, still trying to force himself to picture the now very distant ambulance, Adam turned around to look at the hotel entrance. Another glance at the direction where the ambulance went a thought came to mind. _Looks like it's me, myself, and I again tonight. _As this thought continuously played over and over again like a broken record in his head, that's when he really realized how he missed his family. Although he didn't have one anymore, he just wanted to know if they missed him. The answer was pretty obvious. His family may not be there with him, but at least he had the WWE family by his side. Well, not really.

Marriage was different. You'd marry a stranger and have a child that is closer to you than the person you married since that person has a part of you with them. So losing that person hurts more than losing your spouse. I mean, you did love your spouse and spend the rest of your life with that person, but the person you both created together (over share...:P) IS your life. And that was taken away from him. Right when that part of him was being healed and completed, it was taken away from him. This really hurt him bad. And I repeat, he'd pick a roster gang up on him than this.

This was practically emotional torture, heck, it WAS emotional torture, but it was wrong. Well, not speaking about the fact that her got in a divorce. But it was the fact that he kept mourning on it. He was going to move on like they both did. Even if it took up all the energy he had left. At the moment, he was tired. Right now, he just had to muster up some energy to get back up to his room.

As he got back inside the hotel, he saw the pink-black girl again. The one he saw in the elevator this morning. They both got in the elevator again and it was a playback of this morning.

Then they both reached to press the button and both accidentally hit each other causing their wallets to fall. Adam bent down to get both wallets and gave her the wallet on his right hand and then they both put their wallets in their back pockets. They both, once again, gave each other a polite little smile and got off at what seemed to be, the same floor. At first, Adam thought she was a stalker. But then he found out that her room was right across his. "Night." Adam said to the young girl. "Night." Was her only reply and then she closed her door. He entered his room and wondered what the hell made him say that. _Like she'd make a big fuss out of it, _he thought to himself as he pulled his shirt up over his head and walked over to the couch. He then found that his wallet was missing. I mean, now, he was holding a pink wallet. He never had a pink wallet. _Oh, _he thought. They both must've switched wallets. He walked out his room and raised his hand to knock on her door.

Before he could knock, she had already opened the door. Blushing at the sight before him, he saw her in her sleeping clothes already, which were low-rise black boy shorts and a white tank. _She must LOVE her tank tops, _he thought. As a reply to Adam's reaction, the girl also blushed at the sight before her. She was standing in front of a tall blonde, very toned, blue-eyed Canadian who was standing there in only his jeans. They both awkwardly stared at each other then remembered the reason that they were there in the first place. Then the girl handed the wallet to him. After around ten seconds, that's when it registered to Adam's 32-rammed brain that he had to give her the wallet. Then he gave it to her. "Night." She said again. "Night." He replied. He walked calmly to his room.

When he got there, that's when he realized how stupid he looked. He never really cared about the way he looked with other people. But this girl was really attractive. WHAT WAS HE THINKING? He's Adam Copeland, the man who practically has no feelings whatsoever! Except for hate, pain and more pain. He was definitely going nucking futs. Anyway, he needed help. But now, he needed sleep. Amy wore him out. "Women." He sighed as he got into bed. "They are more powerful than you think." He said this talking about Amy's tiring shopping spree and how the girl next door made him feel so "awkward"...actually, "excitedly awkward".

Adam was nuts. He really was. There was something wrong with him. He was delusional. So, he just forced himself to sleep, after 2 hours of tossing and turning.


	3. Deadpractically

Special Thanks: Legend Thriller, for another review, this may be my third chapter and I only have very few reviews, but that won't stop me.

Note: If you want me to read a story, I'd be glad to, just put your story id or a story id you'd recommend, and I'll read the story when I get the chance. Although, my computer has this huge grudge against reviews, I tried it in this site and on another site, but it just kept shutting down. It's been like, three hours of nonstop computer restarts and I just criedâobviously pissed as hell. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, and really, my goal is around 200 plus of the reviews. Really, Santa gave me two front teeth last year, now 200 reviews will be my top most priority. Anyhow, enjoy. ï Please enjoy!

Story note: Do not sue me. I am twisting the plots and altering them a tad bit, maybe a lot. But that's not the point, thing is, I'm just reminding you this so that you won't say that that event did not happen. Oh yeah, Edge's pairing will change through out the story, although, not this chapter. T.Y.

Chapter Three:

FAST FORWARD

_This sucks. _Edge thought as he walked down the hallways backstage. Wonder what sucked. Well, thing is, two matches in a row. Night after night, now that sucked. Well, Randy Orton and Chris Benoit are in for it too, same for some divas, Kane, etc. Thing is, he had to fight the big red monster tonight.

He walked down the hallways ready with his glasses, coat and belt on. As he walked he ran his hands through his blonde hair and sighed. A few moments later, he saw eight "diva-to-be's" walking down the hallways giggling madly.

_God, what have I done to deserve this? _Edge thought seeing all eight of the diva's calling out his name and waving madly at him.

"Edge!" Tracey screeched waving at him. "Hey ladies." Edge said simply while smiling, but not too enthusiastically. "We were wondering if you wanted to go party with us later." Michelle asked.

Goodness, did Edge want to tip toe. Michelle was almost his height. Anyway, as I was saying, Edge smiled at them thinking if he really should go, firstly he thought _no, _because he didn't really feel like it. But sitting in his hotel room all night wasn't looking too good. So, he was torn.

He thought discernment was needed. _Ha! _He thought. He was EDGE! The intercontinental champion, the toughest man there, but then the first and worst response escaped his formerly frozen lips. "Sure. I'd love to."

_Shit. _He simply thought. _That really sucked. What the hell was I thinking? _Yes. He obviously regretted it. He had to spend a whole night with a bunch of Trish Stratus clones that just want to get into his pants. Not like Trish didn't try that before. She just ended up hitting on Edge's former tag team partner, Christian, who is still A-WOL (Absent With Out Leave).

"Great!" Christy said excitedly. "See you ten!" Christy said walking away with all the other diva wannabe's. Edge noted the time in mind and watched the diva's walk away.

_Best hope Kane gives me around a thousand choke slams, I'll need it. Maybe it could bang some sense into me, and maybe shake off a few delusional thoughts. Maybe it could also bring the real Edge back. _He hoped. Thing is, he just remembered, his title was on the line. _Now that's shitty. _

The match for the title kicked off well. Kane got beat up several times and Edge was practically decapitated as we speak. Then Edge was thankful his good, good friend Lita came out and practically saved him. She came out as a distraction for Kane, for some apparent reason. But really, no one exactly knew her purpose; she didn't come to cheer any of them on. Maybe it was just to intimidate Kane. But it was a big help; he still managed to have his title at the end.

At the end, Edge left the ringside and the ramp and entered the curtains running down the stairs and walking back to the men's locker room. He took a seat on a bench and ran his hands through his hair. His plan now was to go to the trainer for a few stretches if in any case he had anything sprained. But at the moment, it was alone time, which was later on interrupted by a huge man, Tyson Tomko, who was still hurting where the sun doesn't shine.

"I had worst." Edge commented acknowledging Tyson's presence. "I've seen it." Tyson replied sitting down on the bench parallel to his. "So, you still got that title around your waist?" Tyson asked obviously hinting that he wasn't able to watch the match with all the ice bags he had to put down his pants.

As soon as small talk was over, Adam stood up, excused himself and left for the trainers' room. He did a few knee, neck, arm, and back stretches and left to get to his dressing room which he shared at the moment with Chris Jericho. Although Chris was out in the ring right now, Adam still cursed his fellow Canadian for dumping his stuff all over the place and making it impossible to find the things he owned.

Adam then, decided to turn on the television. He turned it on and saw Ric and Batista beat the living hell out of the smaller Canadian. It was then Edge stood up and ran down the hallway and into the entrance. Now running down the ramp, thinking of who he should beat the hell out of first, Edge ran around the ring looking for entrance to it. Soon, he got back to the ramp. Realizing, _why should I save Jericho if he didn't do that for me in the first place? _Of course, those weren't the things he thought, but that was the point he was trying to make. It was hopeless; he really had lost respect for Jericho. _He is such an idiot. _

After around five minutes of awkward silence inside the Canadians' dressing room, Edge finally managed to complete his treasure hunt for his belongings inside the not too big dressing room assigned to the now rival Canadians. Edge zipped up his bag, pulled his jacket from the couch and walked out the dressing room and into the parking lot.

Unfortunately remembering the promise he made to the ladies, he had no chance to escape for they were all there already cozily seated in his convertible rental. Goodness, how he wished he should've just gotten into some big fights or beat up with Jericho at the moment.

He smiled at them all politely and asked them what club they gave chosen for tonight's "festivities". "Club Fandango." Amy said not as enthusiastically as the others, but just good enough to say that she was in the mood. As he started the engine, the girls started giggling madly at the big "vroom" sound his car made, as they also started cheering.

"Ladies, I'm afraid that's not a good sound." Adam said opening his car door. "What's wrong?" Christy said on the passengers seat.

"It's the hyper thingy that burst and then that other thingy that made it burst and that thingy's chord got pulled. Sorry ladies. No club tonight." Edge said faking the whole thing hoping none of them knew anything about cars. Luckily all of them sighed and made pouts and started saying "oh darn." Michelle stood up from the car and jumped out. "Hang on, I know a thing or two about cars."

To his dismay, she really did. She was from Texas!

Then she opened the hood and took a look inside. "Let's see" She trailed off. Gulp was Edge's initial reaction at the moment, Truth is, there really isn't anything wrong with the car, he faked it to get out of the situationâduh.

Then Michelle said "Uh oh. There is something wrong. This is gonna take an hour to wind up. It's over heated." Michelle said closing the hood.

_It was? _Edge asked himself.

"Guess, we'll have to hitch another ride, girls. Sorry Edge." Michelle said as all the other girls said the same. They all gave him a kiss on the cheek each and left to find another ride.

"I thought you needed the break. I'll tell the girls to get in the arena first to ask for a ride and stuff. You drive off already so they won't notice." Michelle whispered silently to him

"Thanks. But what if they notice that I'm gone in less than an hour?" Edge asked

"Don't worry, I'll say your car got towed and that you got a cab to the hotel." Michelle said reassuringly

"Thanks." Edge said shaking her hand.

"Anytime." Michelle said as a reply

"You know you should have really stayed in the finals." He commented after her since it was her last night with her Diva wannabe friends.

"Thanks, but I'm not exactly material." Michelle said

"No. You are. Trust me. I know I'll see you around." Edge replied

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

With that, he started up the car and drove back to the hotel. With that thought out of his mind now, he parked his car at the basement parking lot and then took his bag and belt and went up to his room.

Tired, as he usually is, he walks a bit lazily to his hotel room door. Seeing that it was open. Knowing that he still didn't put any of his stuff there, he walked in seeing that the place was spotless.

_Maybe another maid forgot to lock my door. _He thought dumping his bag on the bed beside a wrapped gift that said "Adam" on the card. He pulled the card and checked it, nothing. The name of the sender wasn't there. He looked at the gift. A bit hesitant to open it, he just stared at it. It just sat there. Complete silence filled the room. Then someone broke the silence.

"It's not a bomb." Said a female voice that startled him half to death. He turned to see the "Tank top lady" leaning on his doorframe. "How would you know?" Adam asked a bit suspiciously, thinking that she might've been the one who put the gift there. "Don't get any thoughts, Blondie. I didn't put that there. I saw a maid bring it in. She said she was going to clean the room. Then I asked whom that gift was for. She said it was for a guy named Adam, who I presume, is you. Then she told me that she was just given the gift to put in your room. I took it and shook it, because I didn't want to be a suspect if ever my next-door neighbor died and his room blew up. So, it's safe. Sounds like there's something soft inside, though." She said still leaning on the doorframe, but this time with her arms crossed.

Not listening to a single word she had said, Adam was just staring at her. He found her even more fetching and attractive than before. But he couldn't fall in love. That would do injustice to his wife. But it's not like she'd care, she started the divorce in the first place. But the hell with that, he still thought the "tank top lady" was incredibly fetching. She had long raven-like hair and didn't wear any make-up whatsoever, but it did look like she had some blush on and maybe a few strokes of eye shadow and some face powder and her lips didn't have any lipstick, but it did look extremely smooth. Although it was improper to even think of it, Adam just wanted to go up to her and kiss her. It was one of those days where he'd look at a girl and just want to go up and kiss her, but he never did. He didn't want to be thought of as a pervert like some other men in the business. Shaking this thought off, he now saw her filing her nails. Where did that nail file come from?

"Sorry." He said apologizing for dozing off like that in front of her. "It's okay. So, why don't you open it?" She asked. But before he did, he decided to ask her something. "I have a question." Adam said, "Shoot." She responded. "Why are you here? Are you a stalker or something? I mean you were at the hotel I was in a few weeks ago." Adam said. She, on the other hand, was speechless. She wasn't a stalker, but she didn't want him to know the truth. It was far too secretive to tell.

"I just found out the WWE was in town two days ago. My cousin's the stalker of Chris Jericho." She lied. _Stupid, stupid, stupid! _She thought inside her head. She just thought she should stick to this. "So, I just decided to tag along." She continued seeing Adam nod. "So, open it!" she urged him.

He opened it and saw that inside was a signed shirt of one of his favorite bands, the Foo Fighters. "Wow." He said out loud. _This person can really cheer me up. _He thought.

"Well, since it isn't a bomb, I might as well go to bed now. Night." She said walking off without giving him the chance to greet her goodnight.

He put his shirt inside his bag and got dressed for bed. He kept all his things and fell onto the bed, falling asleep instantly.

He had to get ready for next week; it was going to be a hell of a week.

End of chapter three.


End file.
